July 10, 2013
As some of you may know, this is my second attempt at blogging. I shut down my first site when I had to run home from the Middle East (Play It (Again) Sam). And for those of you who haven’t guessed, I did shut it down for my own safety. Unfortunately, I had just written a post that did not get the airtime it deserved, so I am re-posting it. Here, for your reading pleasure, is that post:
June 22, 2013
The problem with writing and publishing my life lessons is that I leave myself open to scrutiny. Even worse, I leave myself vulnerable. Well dear readers, this is a growth process and I must be able to take the good with the bad. I must be willing to lay myself bare and issue a few mea culpas along the way. I would like to dedicate this blog entry to ZH because he held up a mirror to me and the error of my ways and he did it with such class and style that I am in awe. I hope he sees clear to accept my apology.
First dear readers, let me explain the way I see and accept individuals. I will do so by explaining a lesson I teach my students. I hold up a television remote so that my students can see the front side of the remote and I can see the back side. I then ask the students to describe what they see. As most of us have at least one remote in our homes, you can well imagine the responses. “I see buttons,” “The buttons are round and raised,” “Some of the buttons are square,” “I see arrows and words,” “There are different colored buttons, blue, yellow, green, red.” Then I ask them to feel only the side of the remote they can see and describe what it feels like. Again, some of their responses will sound about what you would expect. “It’s kinda bumpy,” “Some of the buttons feel squishy,” “”If you rub your hands real fast, it tickles,” “I can pretend they are piano keys and act like I am playing a song.” When they have exhausted all of their descriptors, I tell them I am going to describe what I see and feel. And it is very simple, “I see black and I feel smooth.” Now what is the point of all of this? Well, both my students and I are describing the exact same object. But how can that be? We each have very different descriptions of the same thing. However, we are each looking at the object from very different perspectives. We are each only looking at one side. The thing is, we are all correct, none is wrong. But the object, the remote, is more than just buttons and more than just smooth. The remote is all those things and more. We can open up the remote and take a look at the circuitry, and the battery, and the other little bits and pieces that make up a remote. Or, we can simply accept that there is more to this object than meets the eye.
This is how we all view each other to one extent or another. Some of us see the positive things in people, some the negative, and some the whole package. Now, I have done some incredibly positive things in my life. And, if you ask some of my family members, close friends, former and current students to describe me, they would say what a strong, independent, loving, caring, patient, inspiring role model I am. And they would be right. Conversely, I have done some truly awful things in my life. So, if you were to ask some of my other family members, former friends, former and current students to describe me they would say I am a weak, hateful, unfeeling, user who needs anger management classes. And you know what dear readers, they would also be right.
I would like to think that I am more the former than the latter. However, I’ve miles to go before I sleep. I have put myself out there for the world to see and I am certainly an open target for those whom I have wronged to call me on my failings. I realize and accept this. I am receptive to criticism and would like the chance to apology for my past transgressions. Everyone sees me only through the circumstances in which I have passed through their lives. I hope I get the opportunity to continue my enlightenment. However, it is only through the grace of God and you, dear readers, that I will continue my spiritual growth. I look forward to our being together a good long time.
And on a personal note, I was reminded that I turned my back on one of my friends recently, as little as six months ago if I’m not mistaken. I simply dropped ZH as a friend because I did not like to listen to his opinion on life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness as he saw it. How shallow of me to think that just because a friend has a different opinion than mine, he is no longer worthy to be my friend. I sincerely apologize to you ZH; I was wrong, and if you can see it in your heart to forgive me, I would truly love to be in contact with you again.
And as an aside dear readers, although I thought I had cut him out of my life, ZH took the time to read my last blog entry, for whatever reason. He is certainly a bigger person than I am. Not only that, he responded to me in a comment that was hauntingly beautiful in its simplicity. He stated, “Sure is a terrible feeling when a friend casts you aside over something petty.” Touche. Peace, ~v.