My [redacted] Journey

A teacher's search for inner peace.

Thoughts and Musings

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P1000438

July 29, 2014

Dear Readers,

Here’s the truth of it.  I had an occasion to look back through my writing journals today and I liked what I saw.  In fact, I liked it so much that it is now the subject of today’s blog post.  So dear Readers, without further ado, I give you some of my past thoughts and  musings.

…on who I am

“I am a realist hiding in a cynic’s body, trying to be an eternal optimist. Sometimes it works, most times it doesn’t.”

“No one gets to be my age without some scars. Some scars blend and fade over time; I have those. Some scars only become deeper with age; I have those as well. And some scars never heal, they remain jagged to the touch and even “bleed” when touched; I definitely have those.”

“I am unable to pinpoint just where I began slipping away from reality. Heck, I can’t even tell you the month or the year the darkness began to take over. And that has been my savior and my demon.”

“I have done the hard work to get myself back to the land of the living. No more having to relive the past and no more worrying about the what-ifs of the future. I am finally living in the present and it feels good, it feels right.”

“It is simply amazing that one year ago I was in the depths of solitude and now I am reaching new heights.”

…on motherhood

“I’m not your friend, I’m not your buddy, I’m not your pal, I’m your mother, and you will respect me.”

“I came to realize that a mother only has a few precious years in which to mold and shape her children. I was determined to do the best I could by you. I can look back now with pride that I had such good kids to work with! You all made it so easy for me to be the best I could be. You helped me understand when I was way too much, way too close, way too everything. And for that, I thank you.”

…on being a teacher

“I do not teach, I TEACH!”

“I don’t want to change the world.  I want to teach the students who want to change the world.”

“Teachers are overworked, underpaid and undervalued.  And I wouldn’t have any other job.  I have always, ever wanted to be a teacher.”

…on food

“Me and food, we’re tight, we’re good friends.  One look at my voluptuous figure bears this out.”

“Food is the common ground we human beings, share. It is what keeps us well, alive.  We bake bread, eat bread, receive the bread and even break bread. It is one of our common denominators.”

…on my writing

“I have been told that my writing is quirky and inspiring, refreshing and heart-warming.  I’d like to think that it is just you and me, dear Readers, sitting around the kitchen table drinking coffee on a crisp early morning as the sun rises over the horizon.  Or perhaps it’s just you and me sitting in the backyard on a lazy summer evening, drinking a beer and watching the sun melt into the distance.  Either way dear Readers, it’s just you and me, talking, laughing, crying, connecting like two, long lost friends should.”

…on my faith

“I forgive and I love.  I forgive because I have much in which I must be forgiven.  And love?  Well, when God calls me home, I want to go knowing that the people I love know that I loved them.”

“What a kind and merciful God we have. I am blessed and divinely favored. I praise God each and every day that I am where I am today.  God is good and I intend on living my life in praise of Him. To whom much is given, much is expected.”

…on teenage girls

“Teenage girls chatter, they gossip, they seek to belong and they seek to be individuals. They love pop music, pop stars and popcorn. And they all have dreams; dreams they will strive to achieve, dreams they will hold close, dreams to leave this world a better place. And sadly, dreams they will never realize.”

“Sadly, most of them have accepted their lot in life.  Well, I have not accepted this fact! I refuse to accept it for me and I refuse to accept it for these girls. I will continue to bang my head against the proverbial wall. I will continue to demand the respect I, as an authority figure, deserve. It is an uphill battle to be sure. However, perhaps someday they will look back on their brief encounter with me and remember that as an authority figure, I was valid. And perhaps they will begin to realize that they, and all women, are valid as authority figures.”

“I stand here before you today to tell you that you are no different from the girls I taught back home. Yes, as a group we are different. However, individually, we are the same; we live the same, we learn the same, we love the same. We hurt the same, we cry the same and we die the same. We are the same.”

…on war and peace

“When you are stronger than somebody, you have power over them.  And when you have power over them, you can “rape” them.  And when you can “rape” them, you can brutalize them.  And when you can brutalize them, they will fear you.  And when they fear you, you can control them. And when you can control them, you do.”

“When we, as human beings begin to realize that we are all the same, we will have no more hatred, we will have justice.  We will have no more war, we will have peace.  I want to live in that world and I know you do to.  So go out there and make a difference, change the world or change your mind; one is just as dificult to do as the other.  And then begin to make this world a better place.  I want to be proud of you and I want to tell the world that I taught the girls who taught the world how to be a better place.”

Enough said, dear Readers.  Peace, ~v.

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