My [redacted] Journey

A teacher's search for inner peace.

Food is My Sister


September 27, 2014

Dear Readers,

My assignment today is to write about a favorite childhood meal.  The twist is to tell the story in my own distinct voice.  This could be fun…

My mom is the best cook, period.  No, seriously, my mom is the best cook, ever.  So,having to pick just one favorite childhood meal is difficult at best.  Instead, I am going to try and explain the connection between me and food.

In my family, the Alex Zubia family, food is our legal tender.  In fact, food is so powerful to our populace, that it has never lost its value.  Over the years, Food has evolved into a member of our family, with the same rights and responsibilities as every other individual.  Food is both our strength and our Achilles’ heel.

Growing up, Food always received more attention than I did, even when I was the one making it.  By age 9 or so, my sister and I were making homemade tortillas for our large family of 10.  Mercy would usually roll out, shape, and watch the tortillas on the griddle, while I was tasked with making the masa (the dough).  To this day, I can assure you that my 6 younger siblings do not remember that I made quite a few of our tortillas.  However, I can also assure you that they remember how good they tasted.  Upstaged by Food.

I can’t say that I blame my siblings for celebrating the tortillas and not me.  Food was the golden child in our household, it could do no wrong.  Food was never distasteful, I was.  Food was never too salty, I was.  Food was never so sweet that Dad would ignore its shortcomings, I was.  And Food never made you sick to your stomach, unless of course, you forced it to.

I had a love/hate relationship with Food.  I loved to eat Food, but I was jealous of all the attention it garnered.  One day, I had simply had enough.  As we sat down to dinner, I was overcome with joy at even the smell of Mom’s spaghetti.  I was going to eat, eat, eat, eat, eat.  I was going to eat this Food until I couldn’t eat no more.  And I did.  And when I couldn’t eat anymore Food, I threw-up the Food.  It was one of the most euphoric feelings in the world.  I mean it was disgusting!  Thus began my road to bulimia and eventually, anorexia.

During my love/hate period (bulimia), I still didn’t receive the attention I believed I so richly deserved.  The focus was always on Food.  That of course is not true.  But, in my overtaxed brain, I believed it.  And everyone can see (now) that my love/hate relationship with Food would eventually lead to my simply hating Food (anorexia).  And it did, lead to my simply hating Food.  But did my family hate Food because it was making me sick (in the head)?  Nooooo, Food was still the golden child in our family.

Several years and several hospital stays later, Food and I have reached a detente.  I have been forced to ease my hostility toward Food, if only for my health.  Food still holds sway over most of my remaining siblings, however.  Hell, who am I kidding, it still holds sway over me, as well.  What can I say?  Food is our family’s golden child.  Food is a member of our family.  Food, why that’s the name of my third sister.  Peace, ~v.


19 thoughts on “Food is My Sister

  1. The 2nd paragraph is…well, umm…quite possibly perfect (typo notwithstanding). And, my gosh, the way your resentment towards Food (love how it’s a proper noun, btw) grows over the course of the piece. I hope it was somewhat cathartic for you. Thank you for your honesty and for honoring your readers. Simply…wow.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am sure writing this post brought back some uncomfortable memories. Hope you are now at peace with your third sister.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for the comment and thank you for reading. Uncomfortable doesn’t begin to explain it. However, having written this piece, I can almost happily put this behind me. After all, I still have to eat. But I am more at piece, oops, peace with my sister, Food. Thank you again for stopping by and making my birthday that much brighter! ~v.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Great job on this post, Victoria. The writing is wonderful (can’t find a typo in Paragraph 2 – except maybe no space after the comma following So,…..???) 🙂 Anyway – I, too, loved how you made Food a proper noun and name in your house. I’m sad you feel/felt this way. It really shows insight into what causes bulimia/anorexia. I hope you are well now. Thank you for sharing. I am growing to love your posts. Happy 50th Birthday! Welcome to the club!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you for the Birthday wishes. And thank you for the gracious welcome into the club. It has been a few years now that I have tackled this particular demon. However, she still whispers to me every now and then. It’s a pity my mom and dad couldn’t put her up for adoption. But then again, I love her like a sister! Ahhh, food. Thanks again for the visit. ~v.


  4. HAPPY BIRTHDAY! You don’t look a day over 40. 🙂 I loved reading this post, and thank you for sharing! I see why you developed these eating disorders. How in the world can a child compete with food?? Very insightful and excellent read!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the birthday wishes. btw, Love your picture, thank you for allowing your adoring public to catch a glimpse of the lady behind the wonderful blog.
      I appreciate your comment and I especially appreciate that you took the time to read my post. Thankfully, I can kinda sorta look at my relationship with food at arm’s length. writing about it helps.
      Peace, ~v.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you. I really stressed over putting it on the web or not. But now I am glad I did. I really liked the way you described food as your sister. It helps put an image to the competition you faced and it makes sense!

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I have to say i am in awe of you! the piece is fascinating, its amazing how food interacts with a family and how it can control and influence so many aspects of your life, well done for using this piece to face your demons! i made me really think about my own feelings about food. ~Nomio

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the comment. I thank you for the compliments. Food still plays a central role in my family, even today. But, a girl’s gotta eat. Fortunately, I am years since first battling my demons. Not that I have kicked this particular habit just yet…but almost. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. Peace, ~v.


  6. Happy birthday! I love how you compare/contrast yourself with food. As with all other household, the kitchen is the gathering place in a home. How well you depicted your family coming together to eat/appreciate whats in the table.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for the birthday wishes! and thank you for stopping by and reading my post. Wow, I never thought that i compare myself to food, but DUH of course I do. I just thought of it as being a crybaby and wanting attention. but yeah, you’re right. I’m not surprised I hadn’t thought of it that way. Writing this was very cathartic for me and I appreciate you taking the time to both red and comment on it. Peace, ~v.


  7. Happy Birthday! I hope you have had a most wonderful celebration!

    A fabulous post. I love how you personify Food. And how “she” becomes the focus.

    Written artistic expression is so difficult because the artist has to leave her soul on the page. You have shared your heart well. Thank you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read AND comment. Yes, no truer words were ever…written(?) “the artist has to leave her soul on the page.” Beautiful. Thank you again.
      Oh yes, birthday coming along swimmingly (I’m going on a dinner cruise). Thank you for being part of the celebration!


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